Yesterday I left Chicago.
Many of you know I’m on a brand new journey, and some of you may have no clue what I’m talking about.
In February, I received a message (from God/Source/Universe/my higher self) that it was time to leave Chicago. Not only was it time to leave Chicago, but I should sell all my shit and travel…with my cats…and I don’t own a car.
From the outside, it looks crazy right? I know.
To my ego, even though it’s “official” now, it feels completely surreal. I’m sitting here, at my best friend’s house in Mississippi and I have very real moments of “what the fuck did I just do?” It is a completely surreal, out-of-body experience. Not to mention, I’m still a little sleep deprived from driving 14 hours yesterday and getting up early this morning to return the car 1 1/2 hours away from where she lives. To say I’m out of my comfort zone is an understatement.
Ego is freaking out and yet my soul is still like, “It’s cool, we’ve got this. I promise.”
I still have a lot I’m waiting to be revealed, but I’m also already realizing how big of a growth opportunity this is. I mean, I KNEW it was going to be big but I still didn’t know exactly in what areas I was needing to work on myself. “Finding myself” is really broad and cliche, ya know? But that’s kind of all I had to work with. In even just one day, the lessons are starting to reveal themselves.
Lessons from day 1 on the road:
When things look like they’re not working out for you, there is ALWAYS a solution of the highest good. Trust that everything is working out for you even if it’s not what you had planned.
Never underestimate the power of at least semi-unpacking suitcases so you can see some of your stuff and connect to the familiarity of it all.
Home is not within the 4 walls in which you reside. Home is within you. When you think, “Oh shit, I no longer have a home”, yes you do. You take home with you wherever you go.
Roaches in the South are fucking huge (I forgot and was totally fine with that)
I’m learning how much of a people pleaser I still am. I had big realizations today of not wanting to feel like I was “putting anyone out”. Something as simple as wanting to blend my Shakeology, I had an entire discussion with myself over:
(waking up from a nap)
I want to go make my Shakeology.
Yeah, but then you’ll have to use Sharon’s blender.
So? I even have my own blender that I could take upstairs and use.
Yeah, but that’s weird. Why would you use your blender when she has a blender?
Ok, so I’ll just use her blender.
But then you’ll have to take it from on top of the fridge, and it will be loud. You should just stay in bed and not do that.
It sounds so stupid when you type it out but how many times have you NOT done something for some completely BS reason?
What did I do?
I went upstairs and told my best friend about the entire conversation I had with myself. I was open with her about how some moments I’m so glad I’m doing this and some moments I just want to fucking cry (and have).
She knows it has nothing to do with her. She knows that my growth is my #1 priority and she is supporting me through all of it.
“You know, if you decided you just didn’t want to come upstairs one day, that’s okay too. I won’t take it personally.”
This journey is about stepping into my personal power. It’s about being true to myself no matter what my surroundings are. It’s about not staying “safe” within the 4 walls of my apartment. It’s time for me to stop hiding and to show the world who I truly am.