Today was a crazy day, as many times Full Moon days are. As a former teacher, I used to hate them because it meant the kids were crazy. Knowing what I know now, I would have incorporated meditation and rituals into the day to help the kids direct their energy. That’s not the point of this blog, though.
This morning, I woke up ready for it to be an amazing day. Today was the first day I was testing out an actual run with my calf that has been semi-injured for the past month. I’ve been testing out some really short run/walk days, but today I wanted to really see how it felt on a longer run. I headed out to explore McComb, MS. I had a route planned and was ready to explore whatever came my way. I did NOT intend to encounter 5 dogs chasing me.
First, I headed through the cemetery (as I had done many mornings before) and although many places I had seen in McComb did not have sidewalks, I was so relieved to see that heading out of the cemetery there were sidewalks on BOTH sides of the street! I headed down Pennsylvania Avenue, starting to get in the zone of how my runs used to feel, when all of a sudden I saw a small dog booking it down the street. I was completely unsure if the dog had gotten loose or what exactly was going on, but it seemed completely free and happy running down the side of the street. Just as I was admiring how carefree that dog was, a dog came up beside me and seemed much less enthusiastic. It was a white, smaller than medium-sized dog, which seemed like it could definitely use a bath. It’s fur was quite dirty, and as it ran alongside me barking, all I could think was, “Please don’t bite my calf. Please don’t bite me.” As if that wasn’t terrifying enough, 4 more dogs came running down the sidewalk after us, barking. These dogs were much smaller than the first dog that seemed to be quite unhappy with my presence. I continued to run down Pennsylvania Avenue, unsure if walking or running was a safer bet. “Could I eventually outrun them? Or would they calm down if I walked?” I started to walk for a bit and no, they were not any calmer by me walking. I crossed to the other side of the street and they followed, barking the whole way. I started to run again and there they were, chasing me and barking. By the time I crossed the second street (a little bit of a larger street), they finally stayed across the street from me and left. Apparently, they were less than pleased that I had come running through their territory.
Once I got home, I spent some time meditating, journaling, and calming down from the intense energy of how my morning started. As with any Full Moon, it became very apparent what in my life needed to be released. This Full Moon was all about relationships and forgiveness. I have been very aware in my life where I am feeling it’s still not okay to be myself, where others are still trying to place me in a box for their own comfort level. The life I’m currently living is completely non-traditional. I notice how uncertain others seem to be in the slightest ways, too, such as when others say, “Have a good trip!” as if I’m spending some time at summer camp or jetting off for a long weekend but will soon be returning to my home. Others are incredibly unsettled by me not being settled. The thing is, I’m not settled from THEIR perspective. I’m actually incredibly settled. My soul is settled. My soul is calm, happy, and joyful. Calm, happy, joyful: that tells me I’m completely in alignment with who I am and what I want.
I don’t want to live an average life. I don’t want to get stuck in the mundane day-to-day get up, do the same shit, “It’s Wednesday night, time to go to yoga”, and then end my evening scrolling Facebook, comparing myself to how everyone else is living their lives. I don’t want to take trips to break up the monotony. What’s wrong with my entire life just being a journey right now? Isn’t that what life is supposed to be anyway? Why are we so quick to have it figured out so we can just be bored as fuck but appear to the outside world like we have our shit together?
I’m sure to others it looks like I’m a hot mess with no fucking clue what I’m doing and I guarantee I’m happier than 100% of the people sitting back and judging what I’m doing.
We all take life so seriously, forgetting that it’s a game. We have forgotten that nothing in life is that serious. Nothing is worth getting that stressed about. Life is not as dangerous as we make it out to be. Even in the moment that I was getting chased by dogs, I knew I was fine. I knew that I was divinely protected and that I would be led to where I needed to go. I mean, I had my Wearsafe on me “in case” something happens while I’m running, but let’s be honest….what were my friends in Chicago going to do (or even my friend here who was at work and wouldn’t be able to do anything about it anyway) if a dog bit my calf? Nothing.
I guess the point to all of this is: trust yourself. You know what it is you want to do and you don’t need anyone to validate what you already know. Stop putting your life on hold out of fear of what others will think or whether others will approve. No one else knows your calling and what’s in your soul besides you. You can’t inspire others by playing it safe. The amount of creativity that has been flowing through me recently has been incredible. I was feeling stifled in Chicago. If part of my calling is to write books, what a disservice would it be to the world if I listened to the opinions of others?
Go do your thing and let others be amazed by you.