For years I tried to avoid getting criticized because let’s be real, getting criticized fucking blows. No one loves to hear criticism from others, no matter where the criticism comes from.

What happened, though, was that I dimmed my light and hid who I was for a really long time to try and prevent it. People pleasing – have you heard of it?

I was a big fucking people pleaser. I thought the worst thing in life was for someone not to like me. I, like all of you, have all kinds of memories of not being liked. I have memories of being insulted and of course, those insults naturally hurt when we make them mean something about us.

But if you’re in the world of business, how do you work through criticism in a healthy way so that you don’t freeze up and shut down, not wanting to ever show up again?

You do the inner work.

For years I believed I was selfish and I struggled to sell because of all the times I had been told I was “manipulative”.

When we think of manipulative people we think of awful, dirty, harmful people, right?

The thing, though, is that many words only have the meaning we give them. And, as I began to really look at where these stories were coming from and if they were actually true about me, I realized not only were they not true but I could actually shift the meaning of the words being used to help me feel even better about myself.

Selfish – Why yes, I am selfish. I am a stickler for putting myself first because only by putting my body/mind/soul health first am I able to show and up and serve others in the way I feel called to. I work with way too many women who are not only “selfless” but have completely lost themselves and their passion for life. It’s no wonder we struggle to show up as our authentic, powerful selves when we are constantly doing what others are telling us we should be doing, right?

Being selfish about your physical, mental, and spiritual health is the best thing you could do for yourself, your family, your community, and the world! We need way more of us following who we actually came here to be (which is another reason I’ve totally been digging Human Design lately)!

Manipulative. This was a tough one. What does it mean to actually “manipulate”? Of course there are definitions with a negative connotation, but the opposite is also true. Not only did I look at the different definitions, but I also looked at synonyms. Two of the synonyms are – influence and guide. Two things I do really fucking well! I influence and then guide others to show up and do the internal work, helping them to become the best version of themselves in order to achieve the things they truly desire.

Here’s the thing – when you spend years doing the deep internal work and you cultivate a deep level of love for yourself you’ve never had before, you stop giving a shit about the opinions of those you simply don’t value. I have people in my life who genuinely know me, my heart, my mission, and how I have impacted the lives of others in a positive way.

Not everyone is going to like me and not everyone is going to like you either. You get to choose what you do with the criticism that comes hurling at you when you decide to be bold in who you are and what you’re here to do.

Here’s what I know – the truth always feels good. Always. “Truth hurts” is a bullshit lie. Sometimes we get truth bombs that hit us in the gut, but deep down we know they’re true and meant for us to grow. But, when you start to take on someone else’s beliefs which don’t feel good in your body, it’s not your truth. It might be theirs. They may feel really good about their perception of you, but never forget to ask yourself, “What could also be true?”

It can also be true (and is) that I am selfish about my love for myself and and help manipulate, influence, and guide others into the best version of themselves!

Much love,

Anne

Limiting beliefs again? Are you joking? Anyone else with me on this one?

I’m a pro at pinpointing someone else’s limiting beliefs. Like, give me about .2 seconds of a conversation with you and I can most likely figure out why you’re not achieving the next level goal you’re aiming for.

Between your words and your energy, I’ll know things about you where you’re like, “Um excuse me, Anne, but would you care to tell me where the fuck you placed cameras in my house? Kthnx!”

And yet, when it came to doing my own limiting belief work, I was beginning to slip without even realizing it.

This isn’t to say that I wasn’t aware of my ego (whom I call Natalie). I am very aware of her. She and are like BFFs after years of working with her on not completely sabotaging my life.

But over the weekend, I decided to take the entire weekend off from social media because I wasn’t comfortable with the slight level of addiction that was coming back. The first 2 hours were cake. Natalie was all, “This is so great! How fun that we get to spend some time together.” Two hours later, though, was a different story.

“What are you doing?”

“OMG our business is gonna collapse!”

“I’m fucking bored. For the love of God, please get back on social media.”

On Sunday, a slight level of anger and depression began to set in as I began to get really fucking frustrated on things in my life and business that seemed to not be budging. And, that’s when it hit me.

As I tell my clients, “Where you’re triggered is where the work is.”

I was definitely triggered. I was pissed at God and I realized that my lack of belief that I would be supported unconditionally came back up again.

After going out for a long ass walk, I came back home and sat down with my journal. I did what I’ve done so many times before right before getting massive clarity – I wrote an angry letter to God. I’m talkin’ real talk:

“No more fucking around. I’m putting in the work. I’m busting my ass and I feel like I’m left hanging, wondering what to do next. I get fucking hawks and angel numbers without knowing what to do with that information.”

Those of you who get signs when you haven’t asked a specific question know what I’m talking about. Like, “God…for realz. Enough with the fucking hawks. Unless they have fucking signs around their necks telling me what my next move is, Imma need something clear as fucking day!” Am I right?

This morning, I woke up with more clarity. I realized I had limiting beliefs that were causing fear and anxiety, and whether I wanted to admit it or not, I was subconsciously committed to thinking those thoughts.

So I looked at them. I listed them all out and then looked at all the evidence in my life I could use to back up that those beliefs are true.

But then, I took it one step further. If those thoughts were true, the opposite story could also be true. So I listed those out and what I noticed was this: Not only did they feel better, but I also had evidence in my life to prove that those were just as true as the negative story I was consistently telling myself, subconsciously.

Once I uncovered all the things, it then became a choice – which story did I want to tell myself? Obviously the one that felt better!

Sometimes we have to remember that the internal work is not one and done. Every time we uplevel, those limiting beliefs will come back to haunt us and sometimes the only way we know they’re ever there is by what we are physically experiencing in our external world.

Find gratitude for the contrast because it’s showing you what you didn’t even know you were believing!

Much love,

Anne