We’ve all heard the saying about being willing to give up good for great. But any of us who have tried to do it know that it can feel really fucking difficult when our ego/Natalie wants to hold on for dear life.
No! Don’t let go of that! What if something better never comes along?
One thing I’ve learned (from what feels like never ending releasing) is that great always comes. It may feel like it takes its sweet ass time sometimes, but it always comes.
Over the past year, my business has gone through a massive transformation. It has simply reflected back to me all the internal growth I’ve been doing.
Layers. Lots of peeling off layers. For once, I feel like I’m finally getting to the center – my authentic center.
What’s happened over the past year, though, has been a lot of trying to force things to happen before they were ready. I had many of the components I wanted in my business, but the energy wasn’t quite right.
At the end of last year, I finally released my virtual classroom that I had opened up less than a year prior. I had members in the classroom, it was a good chunk of my monthly income, and the members of the classroom were loving it and seeing progress.
And yet, I closed it.
For the next 6 months, I continued to shut down services. I created and tore down. Created and tore down. Afraid that there would be nothing left.
I wondered if I would still be able to support myself and in some moments, I was barely able to. I nearly slept in my car more times than I ever thought I would be comfortable with.
I sat there, looking around and comparing my journey to everyone else’s, wondering what I was doing wrong that they were succeeding and I wasn’t. I was jealous, bitter, and pissed off.
I wanted to be excited for all my entrepreneurial peers who were rocking it, but I couldn’t figure out why everything felt so hard for me.
Every time things felt like they were shifting again, I (Natalie/ego) tried to hold on for dear life. I just wanted stability. I just wanted to feel safe and secure. I just wanted things to stop feeling unsteady for two fucking minutes.
I finally, finally reached my breaking point in the best way possible. I finally stopped caring. I finally lost my last fuck. I finally stopped caring how others perceived me and my journey.
I didn’t care to worry and stress anymore. The contrast broke me down and I no longer cared about shit that didn’t matter.
I finally accepted having nothing. I stripped everything down to my bare bones (like I thought I had done so many times before) and this time, I felt true peace.
There is no substitue for emotional mastery.
Nothing can take the place of true inner peace.
The journey doesn’t have to be as long and painful as I allowed mine to be. I’m just a stubborn ass who digs in my heels and says, “No. My way.”
The Universe laughs at that kind off bullshit and says, “Good luck with that.”
Allow yourself to loosen your death grip on life just a little bit. I know it’s terrifying to give up what you know in order to trust that something even better will come along.
I know Natalie/ego wants “better” to come immediately, and it rarely works that way.
Better is coming. In the meantime, prepare yourself. Become the best fucking version of yourself in order to receive all the things you’ve ever dreamed of.